I’m on leave for a week. I need it. This week has been intense; absurdly intense. The team will be alright for four days, and if they’re not, we’ll have to fix that. I’m reviewing this week in my head, and I think there’s been progress in places and in other places – just tactical fixes. Let’s see what we’ve got.

This was my first week trying to manage everything. A peer calls it ‘moving from first violin to conductor’, which is both accurate and a slightly damning insight into the sort of people I work with. I am going from one area of technical expertise to the central planning, coordinating, and delegating role. I can’t be distracted by telling other people how to do things that I know how to do because:

1. That’s going to distract me from doing my job
2. It’s going to make them feel crap
3. It’s not fair for me to focus my attention on the things I’m good at, because that means I’m under-serving the rest of my team. I should assume high levels of competency in all of my colleagues, and not single out individuals.

I’m still getting to grips with the strategic context I’m working in, and that means I’m needing more of my colleagues’ and senior people’s time than I’d like. It’ll tail off, but it feeds a little of the imposter syndrome: people need decisions from me that right now I can’t give.

I need to carve out time to visualise the work: my head is spinning with the list of things we’ve got going on. It’s a huge brief, and it’s doubtless going to grow as people learn who I am and think of me when they’re doing things. That will absolutely be a good thing – I want my name to be the thing that comes into people’s heads – but it means I need to make sure I’ve got the capacity for the inevitable increase. I’d also like to do something my mentor suggested – print out 13 weeks of agendas, but do it for the upcoming quarter – to grab the infinite and recurring meetings, without the day to day that comes in at short notice. Then we can work on consolidating those, if we need to, or even removing things that no longer serve a purpose.

I have had some wins. Papers that needed a quick turnaround; advice that needed to be given; relief given to colleagues under pressure. I’ve got lists and lists – before long I’ll need a list of lists, just to make sure I’ve got everything. I’ve also made an offer to someone to support the Private Office, so we’ll wait to see if that’s been accepted.

I also had a chance to catch up with a co-organiser for Manchester Codebar. We’ve got a small plan, which is about as much plan as I can deal with at the moment. I also had a great catch-up with the executive team for my public speaking club at work – we’re holding an in-person meeting (public public speaking, if you like) that we’re currently working on comms for. I’ve left that in very capable hands, which is so reassuring. It’s a relatively low-stakes piece of work, and I think that’s valuable – it’s grounding, against the day-to-day chaos of getting everything done at pace.

A lot here. I’m not yet where I want to be, and I wanted to hit the ground faster. A week off will help me refocus and take a breath. I’m going to get out of the city, maybe walk up and down some hills. Breathe the air. Write some poetry. Practise a speech or two.

See you next week.