I have a headache and I am grumpy about it. I have received a couple of incredibly shitty emails, and I’m grumpy about that. And someone whom I trusted to do some important work hasn’t done it, and I’m grumpy about that too.
Normally I’d say that I don’t know why I bother, but given that I do bother, I thought I should talk a bit about why.
Continue readingThis week I’ve been doing a lot of organising. A lot of cajoling. A lot of: thank you for this, now this. I’m trying to keep my patience, keep the pressure, keep the momentum of multiple things. But I’ve also had people respond to my requests for help, and others who’ve just said nice things.
Saying nice things is underrated. Let’s do more of it.
Continue readingA short week this week, but a week full of talking and thinking. And revising. I’m writing these in a break from revising block ciphers and cryptography generally.
Continue readingI’ve been stuck on a bug that somebody before me last tried to fix at 2am. It is the kind of bug that compels you. It is the kind of bug that makes you sit up at 2am, convinced you’ve fixed it, only for it to remain stubbornly unmoving.
I have included a precis of it below, for anyone who knows about these things and would like to join me in the frustration.
Continue readingI went on a date this week. I did not lose my temper. I did a lot of work-related writing and fell back in love with writing for work. I had a meeting with my mentor. I drafted an application for a job. The musical I’m helping to write got a really lovely review. I took my partner to a hospital appointment, told work colleagues that we were going to a hospital appointment, mentioned to the concierge on the way out that we were going to the hospital.
It has only struck me right now, as I write this, that all of those people probably think we’re having a baby.
We’re not having a baby. Hey, unrelated, did you know that chainsaws were invented for surgery involving cutting through bone?
Continue readingI spent some time in London, but otherwise it’s been a good week.
The more time I spend away from London the worse it gets. Absence makes my heart grow more realistic in how bloody awful the place is.
Continue readingThere’s a nightmare. There’s a nightmare where you grip a hair and start pulling on it, and the hair keeps coming out. You can feel the follicle becoming ragged and bloody as more and more is pulled through it. It hurts, but you can’t stop. Surely there’s just a little more. Surely it can’t keep going. The nightmare goes from horrifying to boring as you pull and pull, your arms getting tired, the hair piling up in little hillocks around your feet.
And then – it snaps, right at the follicle. And you’re left with the certain knowledge that there’s more inside you, and it was the fact that you weren’t paying attention that means it’s trapped now.
What. Just me?
Anyway. Let’s talk about this week.
Continue readingI need to put something down, or I’m going to snap. I’m already fraying at the edges. This is why I was delighted to find this: https://www.volunteeramnestyday.net/
What an idea. An opportunity to reflect on whether something still serves you, or if it’s time to put it down. I don’t know if I’ll wait to the solstice, but I certainly need to think about how much I’m doing.
Continue readingListen. Listen. This is my blog. If I want to start a post with song lyrics that are meaningful to me, like I’m fifteen years old again on MSN Messenger, I fucking will. Revel in the return to your horrible, anguished, brilliant youth. And read on.
Continue readingShakespeare, I’ve realised, is not the fellow I should’ve turned to for life advice.
Continue reading
Caffeinated Punctuation 