This week I was offered an opportunity that may seem deeply boring but I’m quite excited about: developing a business case at pace from scratch. Well, scratch-ish. From itch, maybe? Anyway, it’s a great way to end the season: an exciting cliffhanger, with your hero hunched over their laptop.

I’m not really hunched. I’ve actually got a really lovely setup. But it adds drama.

This week I applied to a speculative position to write speeches, which is both my dream job and the thing I fear most of all in the world. You can read my application at the end.

I also pushed harder than I’ve ever pushed before to fix (in my opinion) the biggest, most boring problem in my organisation. If you’re in my organisation, you know what it is. If you’re not, it’s the lack of cats.

Finally: I had another great week at work. I completed my first automation commission, and I’m waiting to see what the ‘client’ thinks about it. I had a couple of meetings where I actually felt confident I added value, which was an exciting novelty. And I iterated my objectives, improving them, and making it clearer to myself what my next steps are for my long term goals.

Really, an absolutely fantastic week. Well done everyone.

I had a great week, and it’s reminded me of why I do what I do. Thinking about the big picture stuff, and helping other people take a step back and think about it, is such an exciting way to spend my days. Plus, I had some genuinely interesting meetings and progress is happening in certain quarters. Basically, it’s been a great week, and it’s reminded me of why I do what I do.

Not that I can tell you what I do, of course, but let me reassure you that’s it fun.

This week has been hard. Really, really hard. I went into the office twice. It was everything I hate about open-plan offices. I am autistic. I find overlapping conversations distracting, distressing. I do not like these things. I don’t know if they are necessary.

I am well suited to being Head Librarian, but I am starting to worry that I’m ill-suited to being senior enough to be in the room when it happens. The social model of disability is good for reminding me that it’s not my fault, but I’m not about to fight the battle of trying to stop conversations at work.

I also got turned down for another work thing, so I need to take a break from applying for things because all these rejections are really grinding me down.

I hope this post gets cheerier. Onwards!

This week I attended two talks in two languages that are not my mother tongue and they were very good. I’ve also given my strategy a shove, my organisation’s strategic capability a shove, and still not gone to the gym.

If you notice fewer typos and grammatical errors, it’s because Maria has very kindly proofed this ❤️

Something I rediscover every week is that policy works in slower time. I am finding it a real struggle to wean myself off the instant serotonin hit you get from releasing things minute-by-minute. Luckily, I know this isn’t unique to me: Camille Fournier’s book The Manager’s Path prepared me for this realisation.

It doesn’t make it less frustrating, but it does make it easier to manage.

I got my wish from the last time I wrote. I’ve had some really helpful critiques on behaviours and some good pointers on how to develop my leadership style. I’m going to recreate them here so I can come back to them in a year and work out if I’ve improved or not. I’ve also been thinking about saying ‘shit’ in church and doing a lot of talking.

Yes, that’s right. It’s time to ask for feedback, trying to phrase a request that starts out like this:

“I’m looking for your opinion on my strengths and, perhaps more importantly, my weaknesses areas for growth”

…and is iterated to

“Hurt me. Tell me you hate me. Tell me I’m terrible at my job. Please just give me some critical feedback, anything, because this parade of nothing but lovely compliments must be what Hell is like…“